The Best...Ever

Still Life with Melon and Pears
Luis Egidio Meléndez (1716–80)

I once heard Bill the 75-year-old proprietor of the long defunct Coast Health Foods in Lincoln City, Oregon proclaim in a gravely two-pack-a-day, chain-smoker voice:

"These are the best pears I've ever eaten!" 

His bold-face proclamation has stuck with me for more than 35 years.

Bill's ebullience might have been rooted in his sincere belief that hand-picked organic pears would prove to be an antidote for cancer.

When feeling puckish I make the same bold-face claim about any fruit I am about to eat ― no matter how chalky or over-ripe it is ― because the stone-cold silliness of hyperbolic proclamations make me chuckle, and because it might be the last piece of fruit I eat.